It’s true, there’s no joy in writing.

I have been writing for a very long time. I only recently started publishing my work. That’s been a disaster in itself, and I’ll get to that in a little bit.

Writing is therapy for me. I’ve had a tough life and I’m mentally and emotionally scarred by what happened to me. I create villains based on the two individuals who ruined my life. Writing is my escape from PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. If I didn’t have writing, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. I’m not exaggerating. Writing is one of two things (yoga is the other one) that saved my life.

So, if writing is very important to me, then why do I say there’s no joy in writing? It’s because of the industry and so-called “readers” and “fans.” If writing weren’t such an important part of my life, I’d probably have given up a long time ago.

The industry ignores authors like me, who are self-published/independently published. Because we’re not “traditionally” published, they think our books aren’t good enough. Of course, that’s not true. But it’s still disheartening to hear our books aren’t given a chance because the industry says so. There are several very good “non-traditional” authors. I work just as hard, if not harder than, as a “mainstream” author.

“Readers” and “fans” also ruin the joy of writing. I’ve said it when I first started writing and I’ll say it today: I write for me. I don’t write for an audience. If you like what I write, that’s awesome! If you don’t, then obviously my writing is not for you. There is no need to beat me over my head and scream about how much you hate me and my writing. It’s very easy to move on. Instead, people who don’t like me or my writing, choose instead to come after me, claiming to be a “fan.” If you were truly a fan, then you wouldn’t send me threats.

I recently published my positive poetry collection, A Bright Light in a Dark World. It was up for preorder for about three weeks. A few people told me they would be preordering. A few others told me they would buy it as soon as it was published. I checked my preorders and sales. Not a single preorder or sale. Because I’m a KDP author, I can see everything: the preorders, the sales, if the order was cancelled, etc. There were no cancelled orders. These so-called “fans” lied to me. It’s a good thing I’m not doing this for the money, because I would be very upset.

I am going to continue to do what I’m doing. I won’t let the industry or idiots get to me. I have a goal to publish everything I have listed on my Books page and I won’t let anything stop me.